I've come to realize something. I dislike many things about myself. I'm fifteen pounds heavier than I'd like, I don't know how to wear make-up and really need to start, my hair is always unstyled, and I haven't a clue as to how to dress fashionably. I am awkward. Truthfully I don't know how I landed Jd. I'm not like other women. I'm not beautiful. When I go out I feel like I stand out and not in a good way. I see the women who look so together, the ones people look at admiringly. I feel like a dork in department stores with the trendy clothes and perfumes. I'm embarrassed of myself. I wear mens shoes. Most of my clothes are hand-me-downs from my sisters and friends so they are a few years dated. I never used to care. I'm starting to. Just once I want to be one of those together women. I grew up in a very very small village. I didn't have a mind or heart for fashion like the other girls. I never cared much for material things. Until I moved to the city I never knew that there was so much to want. Somehow I wish I didn't know this now. I wish I was still unselfconscious and unaware. Please don't read this and try to assure me of my inner beauty. I don't want to hear any nice things about myself. I just want to get these thoughts out of my head.
"We've never ever moved together yet so beautiful." Clouds - Cibo Matto
"There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker."-Charles Shultz
MiA's ShAkEn NoT StiRReD BLoG
5 years ago
