I've come to realize something. I dislike many things about myself. I'm fifteen pounds heavier than I'd like, I don't know how to wear make-up and really need to start, my hair is always unstyled, and I haven't a clue as to how to dress fashionably. I am awkward. Truthfully I don't know how I landed Jd. I'm not like other women. I'm not beautiful. When I go out I feel like I stand out and not in a good way. I see the women who look so together, the ones people look at admiringly. I feel like a dork in department stores with the trendy clothes and perfumes. I'm embarrassed of myself. I wear mens shoes. Most of my clothes are hand-me-downs from my sisters and friends so they are a few years dated. I never used to care. I'm starting to. Just once I want to be one of those together women. I grew up in a very very small village. I didn't have a mind or heart for fashion like the other girls. I never cared much for material things. Until I moved to the city I never knew that there was so much to want. Somehow I wish I didn't know this now. I wish I was still unselfconscious and unaware. Please don't read this and try to assure me of my inner beauty. I don't want to hear any nice things about myself. I just want to get these thoughts out of my head.
"We've never ever moved together yet so beautiful." Clouds - Cibo Matto
"There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker."-Charles Shultz
MiA's ShAkEn NoT StiRReD BLoG
5 years ago
10 comments:
I personally think that there is nothing bad in being and trying to be beautiful and attractive and if you are feeling to change (that kind of changes are for good) then CHANGE.
Start with simple hairdresser, keep your hair long, just add some style, good hairdresser will decide for you.
Change your wardrobe, add some skirts and hill shoes. Do it as an experiment if you wont like it go back to what u makes u feel better.
Women here are dressing up for their husbands, or even simply if they go out, it is something in culture here.
So if you are feeling to change do it, you are a woman after all.
Update me after you will go to hairdresser!!!
Puppy.
I disagree with puppy. Embrace your dorkiness. :)
You know why? Because I think feeling like a dork is part of the human condition. Only an elite few go through life without feeling like a dork much of the time, and most of those few are probably delusional. Do you ever watch "What Not to Wear?" I think that Stacy and Clinton are so critical of the dorks they bring on the show only because they are themselves deeply insecure about their own dorkiness (and therefore want nothing more than to project that dorkiness onto others).
But what do I know? I am an engineer, and I have spent most of my life surrounded by people who were more or less dorky. My experience may not be typical.
This really comes down to self appreciation. Look, no one should feel uncomfortable in department stores. Women should not feel awkward, and never feel less beautiful in a crowded room. Any room.
Somewhere along the line you either fancied the role of "dork" or was given it, and now believe it to be! That's all BS. I know of nothing in life that is either linear, or uni-dimensional.
Attractiveness does start with the inner self. There is no way of getting around it. A women is most attractive, and together when she is confident. Not "bitchy" or vain, just simply being confident in herself. Shoulders back, head held high, and moving with grace and purpose. That kind'a confidence.
I see this attractiveness in women of ALL ages (Yes I look at other women... all the time... and any man that say's he doesnt is a liar, dead, or worthless.) Nothing brings a smile to my face as an elderly (70s plus) lady dressed elegantly, brimming with confidence. It's not about about attracting a mate. It's about their inner self, and appreciation. Many women are far worse (by the way) at looking at other women. Almost to the point of being "catty"
You should want material things! Oh yes, I know that sounds shallow and veneered, but you know what? there is nothing wrong with it! And what makes you less deserving of them anyway?
If you are uncomfortable in your "look" then get several others. You will not be confident, if you don't feel confident.
Take the advice of other women (puppy)! Explore! Grow! Keep evolving, changing.... and then...then start teaching!
There are too many women in this world with low appreciation of themselves.... don't be one of them. It is too damn easy to change.... and it something YOU can do!
I actually think that being as you are, not caring much about fashion or material things like many other women may add from your beauty from being different than the rest of women. I mean being so simple !! It is something that we miss in our everyday life.
Not adding too much materialistic things and not being sophisticated is what might make someone has the special beauty than others and being remarkable as well!
And no problem that you would try to loose weight and being more fashionable if that would be out of change , we all need change after all :))) I am planning to do so many things as well but i miss the determination :)
wow Jane!
I would love to live one whole day without caring about what to wear!! how peaceful hehe
I take a whole hour just dressing up n getting ready,uuuh it is draining!
After reading this, I'll calm down a little hehe n give myself and the family a makeover break!
Jane,
By accident when i was checking my hotmail i saw this article, take a look may be u will find something interesting.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/BeautyandFashion/Hair/StaticSlideshowLHJ.aspx?cp-documentid=1084664>1=8618&wa=wsignin1.0
Hey folks. I am torn between following John's suggestion to bow to my inner dorkiness, to embrace it and actually trying to change after 31 years of being plain Jane (no pun intended). I have worn powder the last few times I went out but not much of it. Still wearing mens shoes. I'll keep you posted.
I wear men's shoes (Cuz my feet are so big), men's jeans (Cuz my legs are so long) and men's shirts (Cuz my arms are so long). I sometimes wear men's underwear (Cuz it makes me feel sexy).
I used to feel ashamed that i had to wear men's clothes because women's clothes were too short, but I finally got over that and embraced it. I still wear men's clothes anf get tons of looks from men, even at my age....cuz I walk with my head up and s smile on my face.
you know... i think you sound sorta like a hippie chick... and i consider myself to be one too. i wear make-up, but not a lot. i love it though and like to experiment in private. i too look at beautiful stars and wonder how they do it, i too feel like a dork sometimes, but i think the main thing is to feel comfortable in who you are and to LOVE YOURSELF. i struggle w/ this but i'm starting to get there. i think not wearing a lot of make-up is good, not overdoing the hair is a good thing, and wearing simple clothes is good too.
i've been thru the whole trying to be something different... buying the most expensive stuff, the expensive make-up, jewelry, purses and such, but... it all comes down to loving myself and being happy w/ who i am.
if you want something different, try a new hair style or dye your hair, or maybe try a light shade of eye shadow and a little mascara. don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
you know, i think women are most attractive when they're casual and being themselves. i love putting on jeans and pulling back my hair, wearing no make-up and being a tomboy. just love it.
embrace yourself... love yourself because you are worth it!!!!!
Go ahead embrace your inner dork but give the outter you a make-over it sounds to me like the inner dork wants a change. You should never be embarrassed about yourself unless you’re the type that throw silent but deadly farts while shopping. Jane once upon a time a longgg time ago I was about 80 lbs over weight. I didn’t feel that great about myself back then . I know where you’re coming from sister I have been where you are it’s not a nice feeling. Here’s what I suggest a low cost, low maintenance make-over.
1) New shoes…stay away from the men’s dept! Check out your local Payless. Yeah they do have some nice, comfortable, stylish shoes if your budget is tight.
2) Donate all out dated clothing…forget that everything old is new crap. That only applies to jeans. Jeans are like women , wine and scotch the older the better. Keep the jeans and any button down shirts unless they are plaid then they gotta go sister. Go out and get some new shirts and belts for the jeans. Pick up a handbag too. Personally I like hobo bags, messenger bags, and pack backs. I’m not into that fru fru carrying purse stuff.
3) Go to the hair dresser….get your hair did. May I suggest a layered cut? It’s easy to manage and looks nice when you want to pull it back.
4) Make up! I wear make-up verrrrry rarely but when I do wow I feel fantastic! My basic kit includes mascara, kohl eyeliner, tinted lip gloss, eye shadow kit (earth tones). Throw on some music experiment with the make-up find what works for you.
5) Finally hun how about getting into some sort of workout routine? Go jogging, walk a couple of miles every day. Talk to JD have him keep an eye on the kids and take time out for a work out a few times per week.
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