7.09.2007

A forward from a friend

20 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Sense of Self

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time some one asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

5. At work, put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks--once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds."

7. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With the Prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order Is "To Go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because "You're not in the mood."

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run Fast, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20. and the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

2 comments:

Puppy said...

Jane, hi

Saw your email, along with viruses :) Sorry didnt have time to reply while being at work.

current post is really funny.

Take care, promise to write you, when i have time, say weekend:)


Puppy.

Um Naief said...

i love these. this was and always has been one of my favorite lists. i laugh every time i read it. :)