My personal life is a mess. Out of respect for another's wishes I have taken to keeping my personal life quiet, both here on blogger and in real life. I've dramatically cut back on the time I invest here. That is the real reason I am no longer as active in the blogsphere.
When I stop, think and pay attention to my personal life I come to the uncomfortable conclusion that things are not going in a good direction. The only person I talk to about it anymore is my therapist. I don't really have any friends offline anymore. There are two old friends but our friendships have become pretty distant and shallow. For awhile I was using blogger as a place to vent and I think it was a healthy outlet for me. Many times your input and advice were the best medicine. Now I just squash it all down inside and try to save it for the two hours of therapy I have a month. It's not enough. I don't think this is good for my mind or my body.
Things are coming to a head. For the past year I feel like I've been running a marathon. I've been doing a lot of "me" work, trying to become the person I want to be. But more and more I feel like I'm the only one in the race and there is no one cheering me on from the sidelines.
How can you love someone ever so much but be so doubtful of your future together?
MiA's ShAkEn NoT StiRReD BLoG
5 years ago
5 comments:
It happens Jane, one fall in love and feel so happy with the person, but we never know wt's gonna happen, that's why we keep doubting our lives with tht person, or even if we stayed by ourselves,Desting never stops surprising us...i wish u the best and inshAllah everything will be better for u:)
If they are telling you to not talk about it, i hope they are lisetning and being the substitute for letting it out in this manner. This blog is anonymous though. No one knows who oyu are. I can understand its strange to have it all "out there" but at the same time, its safe.
I think that love has peaks and valleys. There was a really long time married couple about 50 years and when asked the success of their marriage the wife said "we never fell out love at the same time" she said that feeling that way is okay sometimes. Relationships are hard work and not always wonderful... but i'm sure you already know that.... they require work, etc etc. though ofcourse if objective factors point otherwise then it is time to think about it...
Aisha (not letting me log in for some reason)
"The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.” :)
i agree, i think love has peaks and valleys... but i also think that it's important that there is someone there for you other than your therapist. you need that daily trust, love, conversation... especially when you're going thru a rough patch. i sometimes think that stress or the unknown can be too much for some ppl.... no matter how much they try to deal w/ it - the other person, i'm referring to. but, i also believe that the blogasphere is a good place to vent and let go of all of that stuff that needs to get out... if the other person isn't there for you. it's very important to have a support system and have ppl who care about you, listen to you, love you, etc.
i'm rambling... don't lose hope.
Continue to vent. - Mastiboy
Uploaded few pics for you.
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