Child update

Monday was not good. After a nearly constant tug-of-war for power with my two year old all morning, I was hoping the afternoon would be better. Silly silly silly me. I put her in her crib for her nap and spent some lovely quality time with my son. Awhile later I heard her playing and went into her room to get her out of bed. As soon as I walked into the room I wished I had just ignored her for the rest of the day. She had taken her pants and socks and diaper off, wet her sheets and blankets, gotten feces all over herself and rubbed all over her doll. I tried to remain calm I picked her up (very carefully), put her in the bathtub, used baby wipes to clean off the feces and left her in an empty tub while I cleaned up her bed. Mind you, this is NOT the first time she has done this. She knows it is a no-no. A very big no-no. When I went back to give her a proper bath I felt a terrible rage. I knew if I stayed with her that there was a very good chance I would physically harm her. So I had to wake up poor JD, who had worked the night before, to take care of her. He'd had very little sleep and it was difficult to rouse him. But I had to. When he started coming to I explained the situation and told him, "I'm afraid I'm going to hold her head under water if I give her a bath. You have to do it." Being the good man that he is he got up immediately and told me to take as much time as I needed. As he started running the water I just broke down. I couldn't stop crying. I don't know if it was because I felt so guilty for my anger or if I was just feeling like a parent who has absolutely no control or what. Anyway it took a long time to compose myself. I hid in our bedroom for most of the rest of the day.

You all had some good advice on how to deal with her but what it boils down to is this: I believe in discipline and boundaries for children. In our home we have certain rules that we all live by, even the adults. My daughter is old enough to comprehend many of the rules we have but still disregards them. Some things, yes, she is too young to understand and we let those things slide. And she is wonderfully fiesty and I don't want to kill that in her. However, what kind of a parent would I be if I don't teach her that there are lines we don't cross because it is dangerous to ourselves or to other people or because it is just wrong? What I struggle with her on are not negotiable items. I don't care if she wants to wear silly clothes or if she only wants to eat carrots one day. The big problem is the struggle to teach her that it is wrong to pull her brother's hair or take his toy without asking or that climbing on the table is not safe.

I'd like to point out that NO ONE offered to babysit.

I cannot wait for the weekend. Two more days. Two more days.